A parody of the Part when Vash met Legato ep12
by DarrenHayesStalker
Summary: Well like the title says...it's a parody of my favorite part of episode 12... it's my first Trigun fic so be like that Simon guy from American Idol with your reviews


Just an idea I had. This is my first fic so be like Simon from American Idol with me 'cause I enjoy honesty. As a warning, Legato will seem a bit on the goofy side (kicking things and stuff, he's had a rough day!) yet Vash will be. the same goof as he always was.  
  
When Vash met Legato (Episode 12) - The Parody By Midnite (Even though pen name tells otherwise)  
  
(Legato is walking past Vash, who freezes)  
  
Legato: * notices Vash and stupidly trips over a rock* Oh SHIT! *falls on face* Urrg...*gets up and dusts himself off before continuing*  
  
Vash: *stares* idiot...  
  
Legato: *pouting* ow... *drops his bag* GOD-DAMMIT!!!! *notices people are beginning to stare* uh...*picks up his bag and smiles* Turrets Syndrome...*scratches the back of his head* heh heh... *continues toward the fountain*  
  
Meryl: Turrets is right...  
  
Vash: *nods before getting smacked in the head with the dodge ball* DARNIT!!!  
  
Legato: *goes to sit down but realizes that the bench is two feet away from him and falls on his ass* This is NOT my DAY!!!  
  
Kuroneko: *right in front of Legato* Meow...*looks at him mockingly*  
  
Legato: *face looks like this: O_\\\* ................ *gets up, dusts his ass off, and kicks kuroneko into the fountain* good riddance. *sits on the bench which in turn, breaks and once again, he falls on his ass ( O_\\\ )*  
  
(A group of kids point and laugh at Legato)  
  
Legato: *puts the bag down and gets up* You know, it is not wise to laugh at a blundered stranger. That is because you will never know how that being may react to such humiliation. What if I was to end your lives at this very moment?  
  
Kid: ...You talk funny... like a boring History teacher...  
  
Legato: *gets very mad* HOW DARE YOU!!!! *throws what's left of the bench at the kids who run for their lives* obnoxious brats...*decides to sit on the edge of the fountain and starts to chow on a hot dog* Mmm... No ketchup or mustard...*Furby-like monotone voice* yumm...  
  
(Kuroneko flies out of the fountain and attacks Legato's face)  
  
Legato: Holy Shit!!! AAAHHH!!*repeatedly smashes his head on the side of the fountain in attempt to harm the cat* YIKES!!!  
  
Milly: Oh look! That blue haired man is letting that cat attack him, how cute!! (A/N: Remember the episode where she was saying that about the kids putting Vash in strangle holds?)  
  
Vash: I don't think he is letting it attack him... Wait, isn't he that clumsy one that tripped?  
  
Meryl: *shrugs*  
  
Legato: RRAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! *jumps into the fountain and proceeds to drown the cat*  
  
Old Lady: *notices the fight between Legato and the cat* Oh my.* walks over to the fountain* Here kitty, kitty!  
  
Kuroneko: *hops out of the fountain and into the old lady's arms* Meow!  
  
Legato: * looks up from his sitting position with his hair sticking to his scratched up face* ?! huh?  
  
Old Lady: You ought to be ashamed of yourself, young man! * proceeds to beat the living tar out of Legato's head with her cane* How dare you do that to an innocent kitty!  
  
Legato: That "innocent kitty" attacked me first! OW!! *grabs the cane out of the lady's hand* FETCH!!! *chucks it through a window and the old lady limps after it* Ha! * re-seats himself on the side of the fountain and gets himself another hot dog to munch on* (Mentally to Vash) I have finally found you,.Vash The Stampede.( ^ \\\ )  
  
Vash: *Hears it* AHHHHH!!! SATAN IS TALKING TO ME IN MY MIIINND!!!!!  
  
Meryl: *o_O*  
  
Legato: *tries to laugh but ends up choking on his hotdog* ..*Hack, gag.face begins to look blue*  
  
(The same group of kids from earlier come back and start laughing at Legato)  
  
Legato: *clutching his throat* .not. funny. *falls off the side of the fountain* augh.*looks dead*  
  
Kid: Whoa! A real dead guy!(A/N: you know how little boys are)*pokes Legato with a stick*  
  
Legato: *grabs the kid's ankle, gets up and holds the kid up in the air (the other kids run like the boogey-man was after them)* Do that again and I'll make you tear your legs off and beat yourself over the head with them!!! IS THAT EASY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND!!!!  
  
Kid: *cries*  
  
Vash, Milly, and Meryl: *stare*  
  
Legato: Uh.* (O \\\ ) scratches the back of his head, realizes the threesome is staring at him, drops the kid on his head and starts grinning like a madman* I was.uh..just kidding.yeah that's it! *Giggles like a teenager*  
  
Vash: .  
  
Legato: *sits back down on the side of the fountain* (Mentally to Vash) .Satan was busy so he got me instead.But I had to feed the Grim Reaper to my dog first.  
  
Vash: (Mentally to Legato (but doesn't realize it)) Damn, my butt itches. *scratches his butt*  
  
Legato: *O_\\\* .....You really didn't need to share that with me.*starts to gnaw on his left thumb due to the sudden lack of hotdogs*  
  
Vash: .you can read my thoughts!!! You Evil Pitchfork wielding demon, you-  
  
Legato:.I don't wield a pitchfork.unless you count the spiky thing on my right shoulder.my name is Buffy Sum-er- LEGATO BLUESUMMERS.*somehow bites the thumb off his left hand*(both mentally and verbally) OH CRAP!!! MY FUCKING THUMB CAME OFF!!! * pulls a staple gun out of his bag and staples his thumb back on* Thumb gnawing is a definite NO-NO from now on!  
  
Vash: * looks around a bit before spotting Legato sitting on the side of the fountain*  
  
Legato: Oh yeah, Humanoid Typhoon, you have cancer and your life expectancy is uh.until.the end of today! Yeah!  
  
Vash: Awe MAN!!!!! Hey uh listen is your hair bluish grayish?  
  
Legato: *looks at his hair* Yeah.why?  
  
Vash: LEGATO!!!  
  
Legato: * turns around, notices that it was Vash, and waves* YO, MY PEEPS!  
  
Vash: YOU EVIL CLUMSY SPAWN OF SATAN!!! * chucks the dodge ball at Legato's head*  
  
Legato: *gets hit very hard in the head with the ball and topples over and into the fountain* Urrggh... *twitches*  
  
Vash: That was cool!!!.but I didn't want him to land in the fountain.  
  
Legato: *does one of his smiles that makes him look high (you know the ones where his eye looks squinty as if he was high)* I'm.having a VERY bad day.*climbs out of the fountain and falls on his head* WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO THAT FOR!!!!!!  
  
Vash:....(to Meryl) I think he's Okay..  
  
Legato: *gets up* HEY, VASH!!!!  
  
Vash: *looks over * hm?  
  
Legato: YOU SUUUUCK!!!!!!!! *throws the dodgeball and ends ups hitting Vash in the face and knocking him over * WAIT TILL YOU DIE OF CANCER!!!!! BWAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * starts chugging a Mickey D's chocolate shake*  
  
Vash: Well.you're a...POOPY-HEAD!!!!!!  
  
Legato: * holds forehead* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vash: ( O_o ) Did I damage you're ego or do you have that Spike anti- vampire-bite chip in your head (from Buffy) that keeps you from drinking milkshakes?  
  
Legato: *shakes head like a wet dog * Whoo! That was the worst brainfreeze yet. I'm sorry, did you say something? * grin (yeah the high looking one again, cuz it's cute!)*  
  
Vash: *falls on his head* .never mind.  
  
Legato: I gotta go.uh.NASCAR's on.I bought you a PlayStation2 and a Resident Evil game.it's in the bag. I'll just leave it here.*waves* If Sterling Marlin wins today, I get $$100!!! And if he wins the Winston Cup Championship, I'll get $$1000!!! See ya.if you don't end up dying.* leaves*  
  
Vash: *stare * Well if I'm gonna die, I better get playing! *runs up, grabs the bag, and takes off*  
  
END  
  
Me: So what'd you think? I bet you didn't expect Legato to like NASCAR did ya?  
  
Legato: * playing my NASCAR game on my PlayStation2 while sipping on a Coke* I hate NASCAR.DAMMIT JEFF GORDON!!! GO FUCK TONY STEWART!!!! KYLE PETTY NEEDS A CHANCE TO MAKE HIS DAD HAPPY!!!  
  
Me:...Uh.Please review.heh heh.  
  
Sylas: (He's a demon that looks like a 26 year-old guy with pale green skin, Husky (dog) ears, blue cat's eyes, and shoulder length bright red spiky hair with bangs that hang over his right eye.) *comes in wearing his gray camouflage pants and combat boots with no shirt on, exposing his (hand drawn by me with colored permanent markers) NASCAR logo tattoo on his chest with a dragon (that one is a real tattoo) under it* YO MY BLUE- HAIRED, YELLOW EYED PEEP!!! *notices that Legato is ignoring him so he swats him in the face with a PSM Magazine (an independent Playstation 2 Mag that I read) * I WAS TALKING TO YOU, BUDDY!!!  
  
Legato: STOP IT!!! I'm trying to get Kyle Petty to win a race here!!!  
  
Sylas: .I thought you hated NASCAR.  
  
Legato:...no comment...*wins the race* WHOO-HOO!!! Now if only he would do that in real life.  
  
Sylas: .no kidding.MY TURN!!! *takes over the PlayStation2* I wanna make a Playstation 4 car.  
  
Me: Okay time to go. Legato, say bye  
  
Sylas: Bye!!!!  
  
Me: Sylas!!!  
  
Sylas: *giggles and realizes that there is no way for him to make a PS4 car * HEY!!! I WANT MY CAR!!!!  
  
Me: Both of you say bye. BYE!!!  
  
Legato&Sylas: BYE!!! *begin arguing over something to do with NASCAR* 


End file.
